This time last year, I wrote a blog called Does setting resolutions feel all wrong? I encouraged non-profit leaders not to set resolutions with the traditional focus on what they wanted to do, but to identify the feelings they wanted to feel in 2021. After one of the most disruptive and challenging years ever, I shared that, while we couldn’t choose what happened to us, we could choose how we felt about it. It felt empowering to focus on emotions as a guide for creating positive change in ourselves, our work and in the world.
I invited those who read my blog to join me in identifying five feelings they wanted to experience more of in 2021. This is how I got on with my five:
Grateful, Focused, Calm, Courageous, Connected
Grateful
Yes, give or take a few ungrateful moments, I was generally thankful, even for the learning from tough experiences. I’m generally good at grateful. I encourage my clients to keep gratitude diaries so they get used to noticing the positive, and I continued this practice throughout the year. I was deeply grateful for the coaching work I love; for dear, supportive friends; for the wide-open common near me; and for the many small things that made life lighter, easier and more joyful in a difficult year. Michael Mosley’s Just One Thing podcast, on counting blessings, gave me a great halfway boost.
Focused
At the start of the year, I found myself all over the place, making mistakes, missing deadlines, not being able to settle. I’m an extrovert and I know I need the engagement of other humans to keep me working towards goals. I saw that I had to take charge so that my days weren’t scattered and unproductive. I found that carving out longer chunks of time, where I focused on one thing (inspired by the book The One Thing) made all the difference to being able to focus. The Pomodoro technique helped too, as did regular calls with friends and allies to reassure me I was on the right track.
Calm
Upping meditation from 10 to 20 minutes (when I actually did it) was a good move, certainly. The benefits are huge! But looking back, I can’t say I was calm for much of last year. My August bid for space which I wrote about here didn’t quite give me the feeling I was after. The year seemed to play out in a series of emotional ups and downs. (Daughters doing ‘A’ level and GCSEs certainly turned up the dial). But I see that mini moments of calm – sitting by the fire with a book, starting each day with a clean desk and a plan, breathing before rising to a trigger, are what calm might be all about for me. I don’t want to be frantic but I also don’t want to be calm all the time – just when it’s helpful. I need some fire too!
Courageous
I don’t think I was courageous in a traditional sense. I didn’t take big risks or do anything especially scary (although going to a new choir last night, after many years of not singing could be up there). But I was courageous in a Brené Brown way. This is the approach I encourage in my clients – courage through being vulnerable, open and real. I wrote this blog about a mistake I made in January and showed up more and more as myself as the year went on. It was a risk – some people warned me off too much vulnerability – but I did it anyway and I hope it encouraged other leaders to ‘be brave’ and do the same.
Connected
I experienced a deep disconnect with the world in the summer. We could see people again, but something had changed. It took me a long time to feel like my usual out-going self. But connecting with the astonishingly brilliant women leaders in my Sweet Spot Group Coaching (especially the pure joy of meeting face-to-face in the autumn) and the other leaders I have the privilege to coach, continues to feed my soul and recommit me every day to this wonderful work.
So, what is 2022 going to be about?
I’m very happy to see the back of 2021 as many of us are. I truly hope 2022 brings better things – and I know there will be challenges, for me, for you as a sector leader, and for the purposeful world as a whole. Here are my feeling words for 2022. Let’s see how I get on.
Curious, Joyous, Purposeful, Connected, Energised
SO, HOW DO YOU WANT TO FEEL IN 2022?
What five feelings would you like to feel more of this year? Take some time to think and jot them down. I’ve found them to be a lodestar, keeping me focused on what really matters.
What do you need to do to feel these feelings in your day-to-day actions, in your regular habits, and in your big goals?
What’s next?
Would you like some help creating positive change in 2022? There’s no need to go through the next year on your own. I’m here to support you to lead your team through these difficult times. Drop me an email or fill in the form below and I’ll get back to you very soon.
