Not bouncing back

Are you struggling with your resilience at the moment? Yep? I’m not surprised. It’s a truly tough time and keeping going in this ever-changing environment is hard. I know I’ve had moments, days even, when I feel useless and under-resourced.

Luckily, I’m a bit of a Tigger, and resilience is one of my favourite topics. After a major setback at work which I wrote about in this blog, I realised what resilience really was. It’s not just about bouncing back from one-off setbacks but the ability to keep on bouncing back and to thrive in times of on-going challenge, like now! I realised to my utter surprise, that I actually had quite a lot of it. So, even when I’m down, I know I can get back up again.

I’ve been teaching the B-O-U-N-C-Y approach to resilience that emerged from this experience in conferences and with my non-profit coaching clients. We have all have drawn on it in the last few weeks, as we seek to ride the on-going waves of COVID-19 and the lockdown. I shared the B-O-U of BOUNCY in an earlier blog, so you might like to take a look at that first. This blog is all about the N-C-Y of BOUNCY.

N is for Nurture

It’s pretty clear that there is a very strong relationship between personal wellbeing and bouncing back – resilient people look after themselves and they look after other people. I suppose it’s obvious, really. The more you take care of yourself with regular exercise, good food, kind self-talk, asking for what you need etc, the more able you are to cope when challenges come along. If you’re already depleted or super stressed you have no reserves to draw on, do you?

As a leader, you can model good self-nurturing behaviour and take tangible steps to encourage it in your team. This is so incredibly important right now, as we all know. I let out a whoop of joy whenever one of the leaders I coach say they are regularly calling colleagues to see how they’re doing or being flexible about what’s really possible to achieve each day in these difficult times. “It’s about the people not the projects,” has always been one of my favourite mantras and it’s so true now.

So, can you take a few minutes to consider how to nurture yourself and your team that little bit more during this time? Think small and no-cost and it could well get done. I share loads of ideas for doing just that here in an earlier blog.

C is for Community

When lockdown was announced I got really anxious. I was very worried that being stuck in the house with my two teenagers without physical access to my wider community would totally do me in. (They’re lovely and everything, but, well… you know!) In fact, my various communities – family, business colleagues, friends – have kept the community spirit alive in other ways. This real sense of belonging to community has been vital for me to cope with what’s going on.  And my daughters and I have got closer too.

It seems there are two parts to this  – participating in community and creating community. Being part of community means you matter to others. Creating community affirms you as being of value to others and having something to offer the world. Both are key to bouncing back.

So, what does this mean for you? What could you do to build or participate in community? I recently took my networking and support group, Leaders Who Brunch, online and now run it every two weeks instead of three months. Without quite realising it, I was creating community and encouraging people to participate. I invite you to explore what you could do, too. It doesn’t have to be ambitious. Small acts make a difference.

Y is for YOU!

And finally, resilient people realise it’s all about them. In other words, YOU! Whatever is happening around you, whatever other people are doing or not doing, you always have a choice. We can’t influence what happens but we do get to choose how we interpret what happens and how we respond. The fact is, we are responsible for our experience of life. We can make choices that help us to be more resilient or choices that make us less so.

That’s a bit tough to hear, isn’t it? Wouldn’t it be easier if that just wasn’t the case? But it really is true and the more we get it, the more able we are to flow with what life throws at us, not to sink, but to keep swimming until calmer waters come along. Which will happen!

What’s next?

In the meantime, if you’d like my help to navigate these rocky times, let’s chat to see whether my new In It Together Coaching Programme is right for you. Contact me here. I’d love to hear from you.