When I was young my sisters and I used to be taken for trips to Brighton on the south coast. Our grandparents lived nearby and it was a regular Sunday afternoon outing – whatever the weather.
I have two clear memories, one miserable and one truly joyous.
One is me, shivering and wriggling awkwardly beneath a scratchy towel, frozen bare feet slipping on the uneven stones of the beach. The other, the pure jump-for-joy feeling of being allowed a stick of rock from the kiosk on the esplanade. It was the biggest treat ever.
Nowadays, I’m not a cold-water swimmer (Yep, those early unappreciated dips are surely to blame.)
But colourful sticks of rock are very much part of my life
In my 1-1 coaching with mission-driven leaders, I use the analogy of the letters running through a stick of seaside rock to explore the set of ‘core values’ than run through you, me and everyone.
At Brighton beach, no cold swimming or scratchy towels to be had.
Yes – everyone. Core values aren’t just for the Nelson Mandela’s. There is no inherent morality in them. We all have them – non-tangible things you must have in your life to feel happy and fulfilled.
That’s all they are, but knowing them and living according to them is fundamental to how good you’re feeling and whether you thrive or just survive in your leadership and your whole life.
Unearthing your unique set of 5-8 core values is one of the most powerful exercises I do in my coaching.
Do you know your values? Really?
I find my clients think they have a good idea of what they might be. But I invite them to try out my unique process of unearthing them. I’ve found over the years that we often end up somewhere really quite different.
Exciting discoveries are made as the list of their actual core values slowly emerges. We’ve found values like ‘doggedness’, ‘zing’ and ‘tinyness’. Words you won’t find in a generic list of core values in a book or a ‘let’s discover our values’ workshop. Words that absolutely sing to them and may make no sense whatsoever to anyone else.
The leaders I’ve done this with tell me the process has a truly magical quality as the truth is slowly revealed – and makes sense of everything.
We’re not talking organisational values
You’ll be familiar with that possibly frayed set of organisational values that are stuck on the wall at work. (My experience varies as to how well these are known and honoured. For some, they’re virtually forgotten. For others they really are core to culture.)
Leaders I work with tell me it’s so refreshing to work on their own core values and what a profound impact it has on their ability to feel good about themselves and lead from a place of authenticity.
Knowing them truly changes how you lead. You show up as the authentic ‘you’ because you know exactly who ‘you’ are – what is running through you like the letters in a stick of rock. You’re consistent and make decisions with integrity, building that trust at the heart of great leadership.
What others see is what they get.
Once you know your core values, you start to see what’s really going on around you. You understand why micro-management by your Chair makes you want to scream. Why a gloomy office drains you. Why a lack of learning and stuckness makes you so restless. Why people who don’t work together are so frustrating for you.
And you can make decisions about how you live and work that allows you to thrive.
I’m writing this blog after my last coaching session with the brilliant CEO of an environmental charity. The work she was most excited by? Our work on core values. She tells me it’s been absolutely key to leading as well as she does.
And a little bit magic.
Over to you
Do you know your core values? How confident are you that they’re the right ones? Might there be some others hidden beneath the surface that truly make your heart sing?
What next?
The process of uncovering core values is included in all my one-to-one coaching programmes. Curious about yours? Email katie@katieduckworth.com and let’s chat about how to embed them in your life and leadership.
