How to have gravity without the boring

I have a coaching client who’s totally crushing it. 

She’s a senior charity retailer who’s brought in record-breaking income at an extraordinarily tough time for the retail sector, built a team that would walk through fire for her, and contributed to her organisation being a powerhouse of impact and results.  

Her meetings are filled with laughter, her team genuinely enjoys coming to work, and she approaches challenges with infectious enthusiasm.

But she’s worried she’ll never take the next step in her career because she’s ‘too silly’, lacking the ‘gravitas’ a good leader should have. 

I really, really hope that after the coaching we’ve done together, she realises she is dead wrong. 

There is no way she lacks gravity. 

She just doesn’t recognise it because it doesn’t look like the stuffy, serious version we’ve been conditioned to expect. 

–

What is leadership gravity, anyway?

Leadership gravity really isn’t about being serious all the time or speaking in a monotone like you’re delivering a eulogy. 

I encourage you to think of it differently. 

Think of gravity as that invisible force that pulls people toward you. That makes them lean in when you speak and leaves them thinking: 

I believe in you. 

I trust you. 

I want to work with you.

(Yep! Just the way the earth ‘pulled’ the apple to drop down from Newton’s apple tree.)

–

Think of gravity as your professional magnetism

But instead of attracting paper clips (or apples) you’re attracting trust, respect, and people who actually want to follow your lead. 

My client most definitely has that – in spades. 

–

The great gravity debate

Trad leadership advice has confused gravity with being as exciting as watching paint dry. “Be serious! Be formal! Never show emotion!”

But that’s not gravity – that’s just, well, boring.

Where’s the flair? Where’s the inspiration? Where’s the fizz? Where’s the humanness? 

Real leadership gravity is a delicious recipe. 

It’s got substance (the foundation of competence), authenticity (the flavouring of being truly yourself), and passion (the dynamic energy that makes everything come alive).

–

Signs you’ve got leadership gravity

1. People seek your opinion – and not just because you’re their boss. Others want to know what you think, too.  (This is definitely true of my fabulous client.)
   –
2. Your ‘casual comments’ carry weight – When you mention something in passing, people take note. It matters.
   –
3. You can deliver tough news and people still respect you – They might not like the message, but they trust the messenger.
   –
4. High performers gravitate toward your team – Talented people wants to work for you because you’re someone substantial, not just filling a leadership-shaped hole.
   —

The sweet spot 

This isn’t about choosing between being the ‘serious leader’ or the ‘fun leader’ – it’s about being the ‘real and authentic’ leader who also knows what they’re talking about.

Because of the way I show up with playfulness and heart, I tend to attract coaching clients who are the same. 

They have gravitas too: 

• The non-profit director who speaks with genuine fire about ending homelessness and calmly navigates funding crises without panic
• The social enterprise founder who’s passionate about environmental change and makes data-driven decisions even when they’re unpopular
• The charity team leader who deeply believes in their cause and consistently delivers on commitments to staff and stakeholders.
  –
  
  

Top tips to build leadership gravity – without losing your spark

1. Know your stuff (but stay curious) Nothing kills gravity faster than pretending to know things you don’t (see my blog on how you will break trust big-time if you do this.) Build real expertise and stay humble enough to keep learning. The best leaders are confident in their knowledge and comfortable with their gaps.
   –
2. Be consistently you Authenticity isn’t a leadership buzzword – it’s your gravitational core. People need to know what they’re getting when they work with you. Surprise parties can be great. Surprise personalities in leadership, not so much.
   –
3. Care about more than just yourself Gravity comes from substance, and substance comes from genuinely caring about outcomes that matter to more than just you. When people see you’re invested in something bigger, they want to be part of it.
   –
4. Master the art of thoughtful passion Get excited about your vision – and – channel that excitement through careful thought and consistent action. Think ‘controlled fire’ not ‘random explosion’
   –
5. Show up when it matters Gravity is built in moments when things get tough. How you handle pressure, deliver bad news, make hard decisions, and support your team during challenges – that’s when your leadership gravity either strengthens or evaporates.
   –
   ––

• Do people come to you for advice beyond your direct reports?
• When you speak in meetings, do conversations shift toward your perspective?
• Can you disagree with someone and still maintain their respect?
• Do high performers want to work with you on joint projects?
• When you make commitments, do people assume you’ll follow through?

If you’re nodding yes, congratulations – you’ve got gravity. 

If you’re shaking your head, don’t panic. Gravity isn’t something you’re born with – it’s something you build.

What’s next?